


Anime Bullshit

by andyrock



Series: Just another Tuesday [3]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: X & Y | Pokemon X & Y Versions
Genre: ...i don't have a good answer for that, Crack, Just Another Tuesday, More bullshit dimension travel experiences, Why Did I Write This?, actually, convoluted timelines messier than spaghetti and meatballs, i hear u ask, procrastination, yes i do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28641981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andyrock/pseuds/andyrock
Summary: Ok, so he's seen alola (or will have, his timeline is just, like, super confusing, can he just ignore the whole chronological order thing?) and apparently z-moves are a thing, which, like -okay, sure. Whatever.And he's a little (ok, a lot) weirded out, and that itself should be an indicator of the amount of general fuckup-edness that he finds himself in, because adults routinely decide to give animals with genetic mutations and literal dragons to ten year olds.But to be fair, he was kind of dealing with a more pressing issue at the time, so forgive him for not freaking out maybe as much as he should have.But seriously?Mega-evolution?What type of bullshit is this?Or;Exactly what it says on the tin.
Series: Just another Tuesday [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1882135
Kudos: 1





	Anime Bullshit

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the weirdly convoluted timeline of 'the Just another Tuesday' universe. This'll be set sometime after 'Curses and Tutus' so this is kind of a sequel, but this is set in Kalos, which is gen 6, so like technically before Alola?? Who knows, just think of this timeline a little like the Zelda one- knowbody really has any idea (or really cares) where they all fit in, and let's just go with it okay-

Ok.

He'd seen a lot of weird things in his life as a dimension-travelling-super-cool-practically-a-god-at-this-point-champion-pokemon-trainer but this? This takes the cake.

...and probably eats it too.

Hold up, let him back up a little: it's a bright, sunny day.  
The fletchlings are chirping, the streets are bustling, and the evil-mastermind-of-the-week is styling his hair. Red rolls over, tumbling out of bed and majestically face plants into the floor with all the grace a human-before-coffee can possess, proceeding to miss the carpet by a mere centimetre or two.

Blinking away staryus, he carefully sat up, looked around, and then proceeded to groan in an annoyed fashion. He'd been having a nice vacation, and it would have been awfully nice if whoever-the-fuck-was-in charge-of-this-bullshit actually left him alone for long enough to finish it. Whenever he finally got around to meeting whoever-or-whatever did this, he'd be having a few choice words about working hours and paid leave. 

Sore, salty, but a little more satisfied now that he had filled his daily quota for revengeful thoughts against gods, he sat up and looked in the mirror...

Only to see a ten year old look back at him.

Fuck. He'd been hoping he'd at least be old enough to buy a drink or two (his vacation had been cut short after all). Thoughts of martini's and cocktails tormenting him, he somehow managed to fumble his way down the stairs, through the living room, and seat himself at the table, where he had a cup of coffee all but shoved in his face by an also-thoroughly-annoyed-mew.

Twenty-three and a half cups later, he scanned the room for a calendar, only to find it written in language he (un)fortunately hadn't needed to learn yet -and seriously?He gets called off vacation, sure, but then he has to work? Okay, where is his contract, he wants a pay rise- and turned back to his now full cup, proceeding to drown his sorrows in coffee, all the while thinking of smashing said god's head in an industrial grade blender.

...Only to have his lovely thoughts of torture interrupted by the front door opening to an energetic preteen talking a pokemile a minute, blabbing on about EVs and IVs and Eevees, and the potential mega evolution adds to competitive battling and a whole new type of pokemon, wow, did you know-

Red's *mean look* is super effective.  
(Shut up, he knows that mean look doesn't do damage and therefore can't be 'super effective', he doesn't care, it's too early for this bullshit anyway)

Only for the overly energetic preteen to be mowed down by three other preteens (this time two girls and a boy) who immediately swarmed him and began to introduce themselves.

Ten minutes later, Red is being dragged along towards some-unimportant-town-practically-right-next-door by overenthusiastic Shauna, Serena, Tierno and the super-nerd-who's-name-is-apparently-Trevor, to meet the regional professor, Prof. Sycamore, who'll set them off on their journey.

(Red briefly maintains the thought that the only journey he wants to be on is to the liquor store- if this is some alternate-universe-france-like-place they should have some pretty good wine).

A whole spiel on catching Pokémon (and other boring stuff he can't be bother to pay attention too) later, the professor is pulling a pokeball out of his pocket and releasing a familiar looking pokemon; a also very bored looking Venasaur. He looks on confused as the Professor began some sort of weird hand motion, strangely reminded of the 'z-moves' or whatever from alola, was this some sort of cult dance or something? He'd have to ask. Actually, he remember the Kahuna yelling at him for asking if he was the leader of the cult, so maybe he shouldn't- 

His musings were cut short by a bright light and a loud roar. Instinctively looking toward the source of the sound, he saw the Venasaur had mutated. Like, mutated, mutated. 

His first thoughts ran something like 'come on didn't team rocket learn their lesson about cloning?seriously? Like, you're kidding me with this bullshit, right' and 'holy shit look at that powerhouse, how do I get one?'

Fighting the instinct to make grabby(crabby?) hands towards the pokemon, he decidedly tuned into the discussion around what was apparently called mega-evolution. Apparently it was some sort of temporary evolution power up that came from having a 'very strong bond with your pokemon' consisting of friendship, affection, trust, and other bullshit that sounded like a classic league coverup.

Silence reined.

It was only then he realised that he'd been speaking out loud, and froze. Wondering how to explain his frankly insane sounding and cynical thoughts while not sounding incredibly insane or cynical, the mutant Venasaur (Geneasaur? It has mutated genes, hmm, the nickname had potential...) took pity on him, and proceeded to put him out of his misery via a well aimed sleep powder.

...

Later he'd wake up and wonder how drunk he'd gotten that he imagined that pokemon mutated from some sort of magical friendship bond -that sounded like it came straight out of a shitty anime, full offence meant- and opens his eyes to the 'concerned' face of a man with hair styled like a tacky two dollar rip off of a lion's mane, in bright orange. 

The events afterwards was, unfortunately, to epic to even put into words, and as such, you will have to only try and imagine even a smidge of the pure awesomeness that it might have been. 

(342, mew counted, looking at the gaping faces, a new record.)

**Author's Note:**

> I know I should be working on 'Just another Tuesday' and 'Curses and Tutus' but I'm a chronic procrastinator, so you can have this one-shot instead...


End file.
